


Dinner with the Membranes

by Mandelazoid



Series: I Hate You Too <3 [2]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Dinner with Family, Dirty Jokes, Established Relationship, Fluff, I Tried, M/M, Meeting the parents (kind of?), Sequel, Sexual Humor, change in perspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-07 22:30:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20824865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mandelazoid/pseuds/Mandelazoid
Summary: "Zim get in here. Dad won't quit giving me the sex talk. Please for the love of God get inside and help me."A chaotic family and a chaotic alien what could possibly go wrong?





	Dinner with the Membranes

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote most of this while on the verge of sleep so I apologize lmao. I still hope you enjoy nonetheless!  
Also  
Dont forget to check out @chantelly_chann on Instagram  
She has drawn an amazing piece of fanart for the first part of this series and anyone who enjoys this must stan her 😩👌👌 she's my no homo best pal and is the reason I'm even writing this

Weeks had passed since their little "confession" in the nurses office and to be quite honest not much had changed for either of them. There were still as many arguments and just as much, probably more, name calling. The differences were there though and they were blaringly obvious. In between the glares sent to each other would be soft glances and occasional smiles, mostly from Dib. Things were good.

Well they WERE good until a certain purple haired she-demon of a sister decided to tell their father that Dib was "totally dating Zim or whatever". He now had an entirely new problem he didn't even think would arise, inviting Zim to eat dinner with his family. His life was becoming a novela and honestly he just blames himself for not expecting it. Claws digging into his wrist snapped him out of thought.

"Dib-beast I know human brains are tiny but you malfunctioning silently is creepy." Fake human eyes stared at him with irritation as the claws slowly withdrew from Dib's wrist. This was his chance. 

"Sorry. Hey Zim?"

"Yes?"

"DoYouWantToHaveDinnerWithMyFamilyTomarrowNight?" There was a pause. The, now light grasp, of the claws withdrew from his arm entirely. His eyes roam for a moment before they land on the small green alien, arms crossed as he hums dramatically in thought.

"This is a human courting ritual is it not?"

"I...wha--" Zim just rolled his eyes and scowled at his lack of response.

"Does this mean you consider Zim to be worthy of courting by your grubby human standards?"

Heat rose to Dib's face as he kicked at the pavement with his shoe. Zim has always been blunt. "Well I guess you could say that. Besides Gaz kinda told my dad."

"I'll go only if I get to consume something I bring."

"Deal."

\-----------------------------------------------

The next day rolled around faster then Zim thought it would. Though maybe not as fast as he would've liked. Gir was running around and screaming something about his favorite show on the television, flinging vile tuna around the base.

"COMPUTER!!!"

A groaning resounded around the room. "What now?"

"Dinner with a family is of great importance to hUmaNs. Correct?"

"Probably."

"Probably? Probably!? I DON'T PAY YOU FOR PROBABLYS!"

"You don't pay me at all." And with that the computer clicked put itself on standby while grumbling.

Deciding it better to just get ready rather then stoop in irritation he began to dig through his clothes, all of which were just copies of his Irken uniform. There was, however, one piece of clothing that was different. A black hoodie that his Dib had gifted him just in case it rained and he had once again forgotten his paste. The wording on the back of it was....odd. 'Sis spill that Area 51 tea', weird meat pigs and their slang. He slipped on the hoodie over his normal uniform, stuffing as many bags of fun dip into his pockets as he predicted he might need. 

"Gir I'm heading out."

The SIR stopped his rampant terror upon the base and looked over, waving excitedly. "ByE bYe mAsTeR!" 

The base was going to be ruined when he came back. Zim braced himself with that inevitable reality before swiftly walking out and heading down the street to Dib-stink's house. Meeting the family was an inevitable part of human courtship and Zim, as great as he knows he is, knows that he will be the best at this. After all he has already talked to Dib's dad and while Gaz isn't his biggest fan he's sure the girl doesn't hate him, she only seems to truly hate few things despite her raging temperament. 

Buildings blurred as he walked past. Jeez human houses were bland, lacking the certain flair his base held. He can't complain too much though because the walk ended promptly and he arrived on the doorstep before he had to burn his eyes with any more boring human architecture. 

Zim knocked and watched as the door opened quickly. 

"Zim get in here. Dad won't quit giving me the sex talk. Please for the love of God get inside and help me."

"SEX??? What in the name of the tallest is that!?" 

"...I.... Goddamn it. Nope. Not doing this right now. Just get inside and shut up." 

Zim did as he was asked but crossed his arms as a deep scowl settled on his face. What is with a the rudeness today? It's as if everyone has forgotten they are talking to the great and allmighty ZIM. 

At the table was Dib's father and Gaz, her game system set down for once as she dug into her food without care. The disgusting fumes of pizza were wafting towards him and he tried his best to surpress a gag. 

"Oh! Your little foreign boyfriend is here. Guess that talk of ours will have to wait until later." 

"Or how about never?" 

Well. This certainly is a situation that Zim wasn't mentally prepared to deal with. This species confused him to no end. Pulling out a chair for himself he sat himself down and roughly shoved the plate of pizza away. The action pulled a glare from Dib. 

"Son you didn't tell me your boyfriend was vegan. I'm sorry young man." Professor Membrane seemed to shoot him an apologetic look. Hard to tell with the goggles but definitely seemed like it. 

"Vegan?" He was supposed to be excelling at this courting ritual. He should maybe try to be nicer. "Yup definitely whatever that is. Sorry not to tell you beforehand. Also you can call me Zim." 

Dib settled in the chair beside him and Zim eased slightly. Conversation fell upon the table easier then expected, it helped that Zim decently got along with Dib's father as always. Even Gaz spoke up when her mouth wasn't full of the oozing gross matter.

It all was going well. Well it was until Dib's father asked a certain question.

"So what's one of the first memorable moments you have had with my son?"

"OH! This one's easy!" Zim grinned triumphantly as Dib just smiled slightly, wondering what the answer was himself. "Definitely when I went inside him. That's when I realized how much trouble he was going to cause me."

The entire table went silent. Dib's eyes were wide and his mouth was hung open, knowingly exactly the day Zim was referring to but also knowing how badly that sounded to anyone else. Gaz had pizza hanging out of her mouth and was quickly reaching for her game. Professor Membrane, well his expression wasn't exactly readable.

Zim meanwhile sat there shoving fundip into his mouth contently. In his mind the only meaning to what he said was the day when he became tiny and destroyed the knowledge Dib held within his stupid head as Dib fought him with a tiny ship of his own from within himself. Not his fault this filthy monkey species was disgusting minded.

"Son."

"Dad it's not what you think."

"I should've known you were the bottom."

"Dad I swear I--wait... WHAT!?!?"

A gloved hand patted Dib on the shoulder. "It's okay son. Just be safe."

"Zim. Please explain to him that, one, I am not a bottom and, two, we haven't done anything."

"I don't know what you mean by bottom but, while I hate you with all my heart Dib-stink, I am still superior to you. So if we're talking about our rank, you are the bottom compared to me. Also define anything?"

"YOU AREN'T HELPING SPACEBOY!!!"

"Nothing to be ashamed about son. Anyways! Do you want to see Dib's baby pictures?"

"Color Zim intrigued." Dib watched in horror as the two left the room to look for the photo album. Gaz meanwhile just abandoning this weird setting for her room instead. 

"I hate this family."


End file.
